In high school, I had this good friend who was obsessed with Kevin Spacey. Over the course of my junior year, she managed to dig up everything the man had ever appeared in and we proceeded to watch it all: the good, the bad, the utterly insane. Kevin Spacey, as you might imagine, has had some pretty psychotic roles, including a recurring character in some eighties television series where he played this crazy, incestuous bad guy, who if I recall correctly, eventually blew himself up (but I’m not sure, high school, alas, has faded into a weird unpleasant haze).
This morning, when I turned on CNN, I was confronted with my favorite Kevin Spacey doppleganger, Mike Huckabee, who, miraculously enough, is still running for president. Naturally, this led to a strange montage of images of Kevin Spacey as psycho-incestuous guy. Silly me, I had written off crazy Huckabee about the point when he seemed to be endorsing McCain in the battle against Mitt Romney.
Stranger still, people are still voting for Huckabee. He’s still collecting delegates, and he’s vowing to keep up the race at least until McCain gets the magic number he needs in order to officially win.
Meanwhile, McCain is still being labeled a moderate even though I swear in his latest victory speech he suggested that America will “save the earth” by continuing to wage war on Iraq. Is it possible the man was bitten by G.W. Bush?
Meanwhile, my sister’s boyfriend/father of her future children, Barack Obama, is now the favorite among women and old people, and the woman/old person candidate, Clinton, is trying to appeal to men.
It’s looking like by the time this is over, everyone will have coalesced into one giant presidential blob, which will then proceed to eat everything in sight.